


In the Blue

by suyari



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Becket Boys - Freeform, Becket Brothers - Freeform, Becketcest - Freeform, M/M, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-15
Updated: 2013-12-15
Packaged: 2018-01-04 16:55:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1083416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suyari/pseuds/suyari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Becket brothers first Christmas as Rangers. The drift has been stirring strange feelings/emotions in the brothers for a while. After their last deployment, they decide to finally address the issue.</p>
<p>***Pacific Rim Secret Santa Exchange 2013***</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Blue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [menel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/menel/gifts).



> With much love to my fantastic beta who helped me wrangle this. 
> 
> Menel, I hope this was the right balance for you. I tried to keep it between sappy and angsty, but maintain that Christmas Gift feel. Merry Christmas!

Their eyes met above the table and the ornate meal they both knew they could not finish. If they'd known people would be _this_ grateful they would have taken up their domemates on their offer out. But they'd wanted some down time alone. Needing the quiet, steady presence of one another while re-acclimating to life in their own heads. They'd drifted enough to know how to go about it, but real combat had a way of skewing things.

It had only been two months since Yamarashi and their first _real_ test. There was no training like being out in the field and they had learned very quickly that for all the months they'd diligently followed orders to make their way up the ranks, orders were nothing but dust in the wind when a Kaiju had your Jaeger in its sight. Simulated Kaiju had a limited set of reactions that grew predictable over time. Real Kaiju...well, they just wanted to out and out _kill_ you. And didn't let very much sway them otherwise.

Yancy kicked Raleigh under the table. It was gentle but insistent. Raleigh sighed. "I can't man, I am _done_!"

"We had a deal, Rals." He gestured with his chopsticks at the uneven display of divided sushi on the plate between them. "You haven't made much of a dent yet."

"This is _insane_ , Yance," he whispered. "No one could eat all this."

Yancy gave him that look. The one familiar to any younger sibling being particularly difficult. "They're _grateful_ , Raleigh. Do you know how hard it is to get food this fresh? Don't insult them."

"Yancy, I am going to split open if I try to eat more. I think a dead Jaeger pilot in their establishment would be more insulting."

"Don't be so dramatic."

"If it's such an honor, _you_ eat it," he hissed.

Yancy actually picked up a piece and dipped it gingerly into the well of soy sauce before popping it into his mouth. He chewed as he regarded his stubborn little brother.

Raleigh huffed. "Fine!" Picking up his chopsticks, he inhaled deeply, hoping to make room somewhere if he had to stuff himself to near sickness.

In the end, Yancy's innate ability to make everyone temporary family had them joined by the owner's family. They chatted and told stories, Yancy encouraging the new additions to the table to eat up with the stubborn confidence of an oldest child. Raleigh keeping busy engaging in social interaction and plucking bits here and there from the communal dishes so no one would realize he'd hit his limit.

They waved goodbye, having ended up staying much longer than they'd intended. They were probably going to be late for curfew, but so few weeks from the last Kaiju attack, that was mostly military formality.

Yancy threw his arm about Raleigh's shoulders, tugging him close and dropping a hearty kiss to his temple. "I'm proud of you, Rals."

"For bravery in the face of death by Japanese cuisine?" he replied, slinging his own arm about Yancy's waist. They lean into one another and it's warm and comforting in a way they'd be hard pressed to explain to anyone who's never drifted.

Yancy laughed. "For everything. We've come a long way from where we started."

"Yeah," Raleigh sighed, dropping his head to Yancy's shoulder, along with most of his weight.

Grunting, Yancy hip checked him playfully, but didn't otherwise force him to move.

"Hey, Yance?"

Yancy hummed distractedly.

"Remember when we were little and I fell under the ice?"

The arm about him drew him closer suddenly. Raleigh could almost feel his heart racing; the echo of Yancy's memory of the event so vivid in his mind, it was practically his own. Which was handy as Raleigh remembered very little about what had happened then.

"What about it?"

"I was thinking..." His hand began to rub soothing circles in his brother's side, hand tucked into Yancy's jacket pocket to be closer to his body. "You never...You didn't even hesitate. You just jumped right in."

The memory is suddenly sharp in the forefront of his mind.

_"Raleigh! **RALEIGH!!** "_

_The world spins and the water is so cold it feels like a million needles stabbing him all over. He kicks down hard, arms sweeping wide. It doesn't conserve any energy. But all he can think about is finding him. Raleigh is so little, he never, **never** should have let him out of his sight. Not even for a moment. Should never have let him follow him!_

_Raleigh was always following him, like a little goose. Nothing he ever did could make Raleigh stop. Not that he wanted him to most times. It felt good having Raleigh with him always. Like they were supposed to be together, like they were two parts of the same person most days. Raleigh made him feel whole in ways he never noticed until moments like this. Moments when the world made it_ abundantly _clear that he was a gift and that Yancy had damned well better remember that or it would take him away forever._

_He feels something. The brush of scratchy, saturated wool and his hand shoots out. It's Raleigh's mitten and he uses the string to drag himself further down and pull Raleigh up toward him at the same time. His eyes ache, his chest burns, but he has Raleigh now and he turns around and starts kicking up hard._

_There is light streaming through the ice and he aims for it as a means to keep direction. His head is going fuzzy and there are spots in his vision. The world slowly growing darker and darker around the edges._

_They hit a ceiling hard and he pushes against it, scrabbling for space. Have to get Raleigh out. Have to save him. He needs to_ breathe _. At least it's cold enough that he knows there'll be less damage to Raleigh's brain for not having oxygen. Still, Raleigh isn't moving, gold hair fanning about his head like a halo. His blue eyes are closed and though Yancy keeps begging him to open them - mind screaming it at his limp form - he knows it's not a possibility._

_If they both drown...If they both drown..._

_He kicks hard. Kicks and kicks and kicks until the ice starts to crack. Kicks. Kicks. Kicks. **Kicks**. _

_For the rest of his life, he'll never forget that sound. The splintering, the shattered rain of particles. He uses the last of his energy to shove Raleigh up through the hole too small for him even if he had any energy left to pull himself out._

_He pushes with all his might until even Raleigh's boots are clear. The peace that overwhelms him then is like nothing else he's ever felt. As he drifts from consciousness, all he can hear is his baby brother's laugh. Warmth as arms reach out for him._

_"Yancy...Yancy..."_

"Breathe, Raleigh."

Blinking, Raleigh did as he was told. Gulping in a deep breath that seemed to clear his focus. It was cold, but it wasn't the frozen bite of Alaska. Not the cold he'd grown to know so well.

It was a moment before he was able to settle himself. Once he had, he became instantly aware of Yancy's arms about him in a tight but comforting hold. The press of his brother's brow to his.

"Stop chasing rabbits, kid."

"You were going to die for me."

"You died because of me."

Raleigh shook his head. "It was an accident." Even before the drift, even all those long weeks in the hospital as children, and the years after, Raleigh had never seen it as anything but a moment of crap luck. Yancy, in typical eldest sibling fashion, had harbored so much guilt, loss, and pain over it that the first time Raleigh had encountered it, they'd gone out of drift hard. They'd managed to reclaim control, but it had led to a long talk after. Complete with shouting match.

He gripped Yancy's jacket tightly. "You know it was."

"What was the question?"

"What?"

"The question. Where were you going with all this, Rals?"

Raleigh shivered, feeling too cold, even in Yancy's embrace in the middle of Los Angeles. "Let's...get back to base first. I think I need a bath."

If Yancy wanted to argue, Raleigh couldn't tell. Instead, he turned them around and flagged an arm.

"We can't afford a taxi," Raleigh informed him, shivering slightly.

"Fuck what we can afford, Raleigh. I'm getting you in that bath."

It was best not to argue with Yancy in full big brother mode. Yancy being Yancy, of course, not only managed to get them a taxi, but one quick, free of charge trip back to base. There were times Raleigh hated how easily things came to Yancy once he'd set his mind on a goal. This day, he just let it go.

Yancy - perpetually in caregiver mode - insisted on fixing the bath and actually did most of the undressing. Raleigh's hands didn't want to cooperate for some reason, regardless of the many declarations that he could do it himself.

When he refused to stop hovering, Raleigh forced him to join him in the tub. It may not have been the best size and shape for it, but they could both fit in it. And with the memory of his drowning and Yancy's near drowning so prominent in their minds, he didn't want to be alone in the water - hot and barely up to his chest - any more than Yancy wanted to leave him in it.

They soaked for a while in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

"I'm sorry," Raleigh apologized suddenly.

Yancy looked at him, as if they were already mid conversation, and hadn't been quiet for longer than either was generally capable when conscious. He reached out and dropped his hand over Raleigh's, squeezing gently. "What was your question?"

Just like that, they'd skipped any awkwardness. The drift had been good for them in a lot of ways. But it had also led to some...interesting revelations about how their minds and emotions worked.

"Why'd you stop?"

His brother frowned slowly. "Stop?"

"Leaping without looking."

He snorted. "I hardly-"

"With me."

Blue eyes blinked at him. Raleigh sat up and pulled himself closer to his brother. Settling by his hip, he rocked back on his heels and dropped his hand to the center of Yancy's chest.

"You've always been honest with me, Yancy."

Yancy did his best to control the strength of his inhale at Raleigh's touch, but naked as they were, it was the least of his worries. Raleigh didn't have to glance at his lap to know, however. He could see it in his eyes. The conflict, the turmoil, the years spent _wasted_ because Yancy had stepped back and let Raleigh go ahead of him the moment he'd taught him to fly.

"I love you, Yancy."

"I know that, Rals."

"No. I _love_ you, Yancy."

His brother swallowed hard. It had been a long time coming. Somehow they'd managed to dodge it in training. All those months in one another's heads distracted by their rise to glory. It wasn't until Yamarashi and their first real life or death engagement that it had all come spiraling back.

They'd been too busy then. They weren't busy now.

"Raleigh-"

"Don't. Don't lie to me Yancy." His hand slid down Yancy's torso, fingers splaying over warm skin. "Stop lying to yourself."

Yancy's laugh was breathless and self depreciating. "Haven't been lying to myself, Rals. I know just how fucked up I am."

"Hey. That's my _**brother**_ you're talking about!" He shook his head, leaning closer. "No one talks about my brother like that. Not even you."

Yancy snorted, but didn't argue. Instead, his hand made it up into Raleigh's hair, teasing back gold strands. He gave a short tug. "Respect your elders, brat," he teased.

"Yes, sir," Raleigh replied, and he kissed him.

An hour later, the water was cold, but neither of them felt it over the glow.

"Wow," Raleigh breathed.

Yancy huffed a laugh. "Definitely wow," he agreed.

Raleigh's head turned, looking to the clock on the wall. "Oh hey..."

Yancy looked to it as well, then down at his brother as Raleigh turned around and cuddled into his side. "Merry Christmas, Yancy."

He smiled, leaning in to kiss him again. Raleigh responded eagerly, and despite the antics of the last hour, canted his hips with renewed vigor against Yancy's skin.

"Merry Christmas, Raleigh," he replied, smoothing his hand down his brother's back.

"Wanna move this to the bunk?"

"Probably should."

"This is the best present I've ever gotten."

"Me too, Rals. Me too."

They kissed again, a soft and sweet start that turned heated quickly with very little provocation.

"Bed," Raleigh husked.

"Yeah," Yancy replied.

"Just so you know...I still want to open the presents you've been hiding under the sink when we're done."

"Glutton," Yancy responded, with a laugh and a swat to Raleigh's backside.

"Just keeping things in perspective, bro."

"Glad you haven't lost your focus."

Raleigh flashed him a cheeky grin. "Yancy, you haven't seen the half of it."

"Good to know, Raleigh. Good to know."


End file.
